Don’t Know Nuthin’ ‘Bout Nuthin’

Posted on by Commish

I watch a lot of NFL football. Mrs. Commish is the definition of an NFL widow.

But last weekend in the NFL proved that I don’t know much about NFL football. The script writers surprised even a diehard fan. No, I’m not talking about the Cowboys wetting the bed against the Saints. That … I could predict. I was only kidding last week when I said I was eating the cheese. I’ve been a Dallas fan way too long for that nonsense. I was peacefully napping during halftime.

But 2024 NFL Week Two was … (Cosmo Kramer waving his hand) … out there.

The Vikings over the 49ers?

The Commanders score no touchdowns. The Giants score three touchdowns. The Commanders … win?

The Browns (who looked like a Brown stain last week), go to Jacksonville and … win?

The Bucs beat the Lions in Detroit?

The Minshew Raiders beat the Ravens in Baltimore?

The Cardinals boatrace the Rams?

And, then Monday night, I was about to doze off when the Eagles were running out the clock. But then Kellen Moore and Nick Sirianni strike and call a third down pass and Saquon Barkley stone hands it, leading to a great finish and me staying awake. Oh, and the Auto Picks losing a heart breaker and the Moops getting their first win thanks to the late Drake London TD.

Wow. What a crazy week and what a slew of harsh injuries and late scratches affecting teams. Stay strong, don’t give up!

I’m not going to recap the standings just yet, but margins are being set! Stay in the game!

Moops 133 – Piranha Brothers 126: The Moops squeaked out a W, thanks to the Steeler D (24) and Rashee Rice (20), but most critically London’s 17 points on Monday night. The Brothers were waylaid despite Malik Nabers (28) and Davante Adams (26), when Keenan Allen’s zero points were still in the lineup.

Beauty 135 – Megatron 99: B & the B’s cruised to victory led by James Cook (31) and Justin Jefferson (23) while the Ghost was let down by a zero in his own lineup (Raheem Mostert), relying on JK Dobbins (23) and Patrick Mahomes (17) instead.

Midgets 158 – Monkeys 98: Surprise powerhouse Midgets had twin 26 point outings from Chris Godwin and Jalen Hurts while the snakebit Monkeys (owners of the Madden Cursed CMac AND now Cooper Kupp, had only Dak Prescott (17) put up many points.

Lightning 135 – Auto Picks 134: The SPFL Game of the Week came down to the wire, but the Lightning emerged victorious thanks to the Chargers D (26) feasting on Panther Loaf in Charlotte, while the Auto Picks were also waylaid by a late scratch TE (with no backup TE to call upon) and Saquon’s previously mentioned drop. DK Metcalf (30) and Nico Collins (27) made it close.

Corn 139 – Heroes 93: Last year’s champion found his groove against his big brother, led by Kyler Murray (31) and the Texans D (25). The Heroes were led by Marvin Harrison Jr (31) and Devin Singletary (17). Unfortunately, Josh Allen only had to put up 9 points for Buffalo to win this week.

Bright 1s 169 – Turtles 122: The Bright 1s claimed another big win, led by the four touchdowns of Alvin Kamara (48) and Devon Achane’s 31. Top Turtles were Calvin Ridley (26) and James Conner (21). The Doomsday Defense Cowboys were a zero in every possible way.

Next Week

  • Moops @ Monkeys
  • Beasts @ 1’s (2-0 vs 2-0)
  • Midgets @ Lightning (2-0 vs 2-0)
  • Megatron @ Heroes
  • Auto Picks @ Brothers
  • Turtles @ Corn

Still waiting on two league fees in the home offices …

Good luck and enjoy the games!

The Commish