Happy December, everyone! My apologies for missing last week’s post, but … you know, Thanksgiving and all. As I stated the week before, I was in downtown DC for three days and then went to one of my favorite places, Gettysburg, PA, for another three days and didn’t get back to the home offices until Wednesday evening. So …
Anyhoo, I did want to post a short update this week, however, because it’s our regular season’s final week and lots of playoff implications are on the line. I’m going to recap where we are, as best I can, with the disclaimer that … I’m only human and can make mistakes. Mrs. Commish reminds me of that fact quite often.
In the Tommy Boy Division, the Midgets hang on to a one game lead with a 9-4 record after a heart breaking Thanksgiving weekend loss prevented them from wrapping up the title. One game back are the Auto Picks and the Moops with 8-5 marks. The Thunder Monkeys and Greased Lightning are another game back with 7-6 marks while the Piranha Brothers were stuck in the killer division this season and bring up the rear at 4-9.
Thanks to the scheduling gods, the Midgets and the Auto Picks face off this week. Of course, a Midgets victory means a Bitter division title and a week one bye in the playoffs. However, if the Auto Picks take down the Midgets, the head to head record between the two would be 1-1 and it would come down to total points and the Auto Picks have a huge 119 point advantage. Hence, this all but a title game this week. Now, the Moops, facing the Lightning, could technically tie for the title with a win and a Midgets loss, but head to head matchups are split and the Moops also trail in total points by 121 points to the Auto Picks, so… Also, the Moops are 0-2 against the Midgets this season, so the Midgets would clinch the runner up spot should they be tied with the Moops for second.
What does this all mean? The Midgets have officially clinched a playoff spot. The Auto Picks have all but clinched a playoff spot. It would take a catastrophic outing by the whole squad and an otherworldly showing by one of the other wild card hopefuls (particularly the Lightning) to overtake the Auto Picks point differential. The Moops are pretty close to clinched based on points scored (1795 points), but it’s not certain.
Now, over in the Matt Foley Division, the Bright 1s (11-2) have clinched the title, home field advantage, and a playoff bye. Beauty and the Beasts and Heath’s Heroes are in a battle for that runner up wild card with matching 7-6 records … and get this, a Week 14 showdown against each other. Gotta love the SPFL! Now, if the Beasts win this week, they obviously clinch the wild card and the Heroes would likely be out of the playoffs due to a lower overall point total (1653 points). However, if the Heroes win this week and clinch the runner up wild card, there will be a massive congestion point for that sixth and final playoff spot via total points between the Thunder Monkeys (1723 points) and the Beasts (1718 points) and … maybe the Lightning (1649 points) if they produce a massive Week 14 point total.
All in all, it’s shaping up to be a humdinger of a Week 14 with two quasi playoff games.
Moops 163 — Auto Picks 143: The Moops did their part to help out big brother in his title quest, taking down the big, scary Auto Picks thanks to a massive Thanksgiving Day output from Caleb Williams (26) and Rico Dowdle (23). The Auto Picks certainly made a game of it, led by the dynamic backfield duo of Bijan Robinson (28) and Saquon Barkley (22).
Beasts 129 — Turtles 96: The Beasts cruised to an easy win, led by James Cook (22) and Tee Higgins (17), while the Turtles had Ray Davis (19), Puka Nacua (17) and little else. But she did bring a mean Jello Pie to Thanksgiving dinner.
Brothers 134 — Midgets 133: Relishing the role of dastardly spoiler in Week 13, the Brothers picked up a sub 1.0 win, ruining the Midgets hopes of clinching that precious playoff bye. Terry McLaurin (27) and Tua (25) led the PBs, while the Midgets as usual boasted on Brock Bowers (30) and Brian Thomas Jr (18).
Megatron 108 — Corn 92: Megatron is like the Cowboys — they can’t even lose when they’re trying to lose. Despite being short a starter, Ghost picked up another victory to climb out of the MF cellar, led by Josh Jacobs (23) and Jonathan Taylor (19). The Corn were led by Tyreek Hill (20) and Kyler Murray (17).
Lightning 150 — Monkeys 141: The Lightning withstood that Monday Night Jerry Jeudy show (42 points for the Monkeys) thanks to Mike Evans (25) and DJ Moore (23). Trey McBride pitched in 21 to help the Monkeys effort.
1s 157 — Heroes 142: Keeping their foot on the throat of the rest of the league, the Bright 1s showed no mercy on the hopeful, charging Heroes. Led by twin 26 point outings by Lamar Jackson and the Chargers D, the Bright 1s appear to be firing on all cylinders as the postseason approaches. Josh Allen (28) and Najee Harris (26) led the Heroes’ contingent.
WEEK 14
- Moops @ Lightning
- Beasts @ Heroes
- Midgets @ Auto Picks
- Megatron @ Turtles
- 1s @ Corn
- Brothers @ Monkeys
That’s it for this week, I’m running short of time and didn’t run across any killer memes, so … enjoy the games, the matchups, and the weekend!
The Commish