If the Playoffs Started Today…

Posted on by Commish

It’s time for the first “if the playoffs started today…” review. Why? Because I’m tired, mentally and physically, and don’t have anything insightful to share this afternoon.

We have one less zero in the standings this week as the Piranha Brothers picked up their first win of the season, leaving the winless Turtles (0-5) and the perfect Lightning (5-0) both still dreaming of that spotless season.

If the playoffs started today… Greased Lightning (5-0) and the Bright 1s (4-1) would be the division champs and enjoying a first round bye into the final four. The Moops and Beauty and Her Beasts would hold the runner up seedings at this point, and the total points wild cards would go to … the Bitter Midgets and the Auto Picks, but several teams are still within easy striking distance, including the Thunder Monkeys, winners of two straight and only ten points down in the Points For column heading into week six!

Moops 171 — Beasts 168: Probably the game of the week, both for the slim margins and the high scoring totals. The Beasts would have beaten any other team this week, which led me down the rabbit hole of fantasy football league rule ideas. While I personally enjoy the head to head matchups each week, there’s an intriguing idea that each team would play two games per week — against their regularly scheduled opponent … and against the weekly average score. Interesting. May have to consider that one on my ayahuasca vacation next summer. Anyhoo… the Moops were led by their wideouts, JaMarr Chase (45) and Drake London (33) while the Beasts were led by Joe Burrow (38) and Darnell Mooney (31). Yahoo had predicted a Monday night comeback victory for the Beasts, behind the triumvirate of Travis Kelce, Chris Olave, and the Saints D, but fell just short.

Midgets 132 — Heroes 98: The Midgets continued their season of revival, thanks to rookie sensations Brock Bowers and Brian Thomas, Jr., both putting up 25 points. The Heroes sputtered along with Josh Allen (17), being led in scoring by Kareem Hunt’s 21.

Brothers 119 — Megatron 102: The Piranha Brothers got on the board, led by the Orange Crush D (22) and Rhamondre Stevenson (20), while Megatron had Josh Jacobs (18) and, likely mentioned for the first time in an SPFL recap, Rashod Bateman (15).

Lightning 140 — Turtles 131: The Lightning stayed perfect, but it wasn’t a cake walk against the winless Turtles. DJ Moore (27) and Mike Evans (23) led the greasy crew, while the Turtles boasted a nice balanced lineup, topped by 20 point outings from George Kittle and CJ Stroud.

I‘m not a baseball fan anymore, but this series must be something else…

1s 153 — Auto Picks 84: And in our Roy D. Mercer Game of the Week, the Bright 1s piled up the points, led by Lamar Jackson (35) and Garrett Wilson (29). The Auto Picks, when they weren’t screwing up the transactions page (kudos to our merciful SPFL fellow owners, by the way, thanks for the quick turnaround on the vote), had only Nico Collins’ 17 points on the way to the IR and Justin Fields’s 16.

Monkeys 129 — Corn 127: The other game of the week came down to the wire, as well, when the Corn’s Rashid Shaheed put up 25 points on Monday night to almost lead a miraculous comeback. Kyler Murray led the way with 27. In the end, however, it wasn’t enough to overcome the Monkeys’ Purple People Eater D (26) and Baker Mayfield (24).

Please, do yourself a favor and spend two minutes watching this below. It’s brilliant and well done…

Next Week:

  • Moops @ Auto Picks
  • Beasts @ Turtles
  • Midgets @ Brothers
  • Megatron @ Corn
  • Lightning @ Monkeys
  • Heroes @ 1s.

Best of luck and enjoy your weekend!

The Commish