Relegation

Posted on by Commish

Tim Cowlishaw, of “Around the Horn” fame, wrote an interesting column in the Dallas Morning News today, suggesting a major change for the NFL. Add 8 more teams to the league, (Paris, London, Mexico City, Germany, 2 or 3 more in the US, etc.) and start relegating teams like the Premier League/Champions League in soccer. The four worst NFL teams get relegated each year and the four best “international” teams (Champions League, if you will) move up to the NFL (Premier League, if you will). He went into much more detail, both about how to handle the draft and how owners would rake in more cash, but I like it as a diehard NFL fan. Wouldn’t that upcoming Giants/Cowboys game be a tad more interesting if Jerry’s boys were on the threshold of being relegated. And how exciting those playoffs in the Champions League would be. I love it! That sounds so much more fun than me being stuck rooting for the Cowboys to lose the next 7 games to improve their draft stock and embarrass Jerry. (Did you hear they put Coach Tom “Laundry’s” name on the big board last weekend? Shameful…)

Don’t worry, I’m not considering relegation in the SPFL.

Yet.

If I only had a few more owners …

There was a reckoning in the SPFL this week when the Bright 1s took down the Bitter Midgets and claimed the overall #1 slot for now. The 1s (8-2) hold a two game lead in the Matt Foley Division over the 6-4 Beauty and Her Beasts and Heath’s Heroes, and then a big slide down to the 3-7 Corn, 2-8 Turtles, and 1-9 Megatron. The Midgets (8-2) maintain a lead in the Tommy Boy Division but it has shrunk to one game over The Trader Joe’s, er, I mean Auto Picks (7-3), while the Moops are another game back at 6-4. The Monkeys and Lightning are both at .500 (5-5) while the Piranha Brothers (3-7) bring up the rear.

Should the playoffs start today, the 1s would be 1, the Midgets would be 2, the Auto Picks would be 3, the Beasts would be 4, the Moops would be 5, and the Monkeys would be 6. The Lightning and the Heroes are tied for seventh place right now, only 35 points out of that sixth slot.

Back when coaches had class. Coach Landry with the Jacket that matched the players pants.

Moops 144 — Corn 101: It was a pretty boring week in the SPFL honestly, with most games being rather one sided, perhaps none moreso than this one, simply due to JaMarr Chase’s 59 (!!) outing on Thursday night. The Corn were led by Chuba Hubbard (28) and … yuck … Daniel Dimes (14).

Beasts 155 — Brothers 92: Beauty and her Beasts cruised to victory, also thriving on Thursday night with Joe Burrow’s 37 points, bookended with Travis Kelce’s 20 on Sunday. The Brothers were led by Courtland Sutton (19) and Terry McLaurin (16).

1s 136 — Midgets 107: Lamar Jackson (35) and George Pickens (20) led the Bright 1s to this critical victory, while the Midgets had Jalen Hurts (32), Amon Ra St Brown (18), their TE sensation Brock Bowers on a bye week and two defenses on a bye week.

Monkeys 131 – Megatron 87: The Monkeys sent Megatron to their seventh straight loss, with Austin Ekeler’s 33 and the Vikings D’s 25 leading the way. Patrick Mahomes and Jonathan Taylor both put up 16 to lead the Ghost.

Heroes 146 — Lightning 97: The Heroes cruised to their seventh straight win, led by the Philly D (33) feasting on the Cowboys and Josh Allen’s 21. The Lightning were led by Derek Carr (22) and David Montgomery (13).

Auto Picks 157 — Turtles 144: The only real slugfest of the week, saw the resurgent Auto Picks surviving a five point QB outing and still piling up big points, led by Bijan Robinson (31) and the Buffalo D (25). The Turtles put up a Purdy good effort led by Brock (26) and Calvin Ridley (27).

Next Week

  • Moops @ Brothers
  • Beasts @ Megatron
  • Midgets @ Monkeys
  • Lightning @ Auto Picks
  • Heroes @ Corn
  • Turtles @ 1s

Enjoy that tasty looking Thursday night game and best of luck with your lineups!

The Commish