Week Five

Things are starting to get interesting in the SPFL now, as we’re over 1/3 of the way through the regular season already. In the Tommy Boy Division, the Moops and Monkeys are tied for first with 4-1 marks, while the Heroes and Bright 1s trail by only a game at 3-2. The Ghost of Megatron finds himself at 2-3, while the Midgets are in the basement at 1-4.

In the Matt Foley Division, a Tennessee dream season is forming as the Turf Turtles are atop the heap via tiebreaker right now at 3-2, but the Piranha Brothers and Bull Rings are also at that record. Greased Lightning and Yesterday’s Corn are just a game back at 2-3, but the No Names are floundering at 0-5.

It’s a little early, but if the playoffs were starting today, the Moops, Monkeys, Turtles, and Piranha Brothers would be automatic qualifiers via standings while Heath’s Heroes and Greased Lightning would be the wild card total point playoff teams.

Moops 197.8 — Greased Lightning 179.9: Now this was a heavyweight slugfest! In the end, the Moops came out on top thanks to Davante Adams (31.4) and Breece Hall (29.5), but the Lightning didn’t go down easy, led by the Patriots D’s shutout (34) and Josh Jacobs (32.4).

Heroes 163.9 — No Names 137.7: The Heroes picked up a big win, led by Josh Allen’s 40.6 points and Justin Jefferson’s 30.3. The No Names made a No-Bull effort, led by Allen’s teammate, Gabe Davis (36.1) and Derrick Henry (30), but unfortunately, the No Names’ team physician neglected to inform the coach that Javonte Williams tore every ligament in his knee two weeks ago and he was unable to put up any points this week.

Bull Rings 132.4 — Midgets 71.4: The Bull Rings coasted to an easy W, led by Dalvin Cook (27.9) and Alvin Kamara (26.7). The Midgets were unable to focus after winning what amounted to their Super Bowl last week and tallied less than 50% of their Yahoo projected score. Leading Midgets were Joe Mixon (13.2) and Trevor Lawrence (12.7).

Piranha Brothers 126.8 — Megatron 98.5: The Piranha Brothers claimed another win to keep pace in the MF Division, when Travis Kelce (33.5) scored nearly as many touchdowns as he did yards receiving. Raheem Mostert pitched in 21 points. Megatron was led by Patrick Mahomes (30.8) and Melvin Gordon (14.8).

Turtles 185.4 — Bright 1s 139.5: The Turtles posted the second largest total of the weekend, led by their bodacious backfield tandem of Austin Ekeler (37.5) and Nick Chubb (29.1). The Bright 1s were led by Lenny Fournette (37.3) and Jalen Hurts (29.1).

Monkeys 101.7 — Corn 86.1: And in the high channel game of the week, the Monkeys won despite posting two goose eggs in their starting lineup, which is impressive in its own right. Stefon Diggs was the leading scorer at 24.2. The Corn were led by DK Metcalf (20.8) and, believe it or not, his former teammate, Russell Wilson (11.5). “Let’s ride…”

Next Week: Take note, the bye weeks begin this week, which makes everything a little harder and a little more interesting.

• Moops/Bright 1s
• No Names/Bull Rings
• Midgets/Megatron
• Lightning/Piranha Bros.
• Heroes/Monkeys
• Turtles/Corn

I didn’t get much feedback on my Mt Rushmore nonsense last week, so I take that to mean either (a) it was boring, or (b) I nailed it and no one could argue my choices. I’m going to assume it was (b)!

Mrs. Commish and I started a new series this week, although it is a new one, so it may run for a while and won’t be Rushmore eligible for some time. It’s a drama called “The Patient”, starring Steve Carell, and through two episodes … it’s pretty intriguing. We both love Steve Carell and this series was created by the two guys behind The Americans, our all time favorite, so we have high hopes.

Another thing on our radar is, of course, the new/last Jamie Lee Curtis’ Halloween movie coming out this weekend. We’ve seen the other recent OG Halloweens and were entertained, but certainly not impressed. However, it did lead us to a discussion of “Halloween” movies (meaning, Halloween the holiday-centered movies, not Michael Myers-themed movies) and I put forth the theory that the perfect Halloween movie has not yet been made. My criteria being: it has to have Halloween mood/setting, it should be scary, and it should leave me in the “Halloween” spirit. That’s ill-defined, I guess, but I posit that there a boatload of Christmas movies that end with me ready for Santa Claus.

But for example, with Halloween, the silly Adam Sandler movie, Hubie Halloween has mood/setting (set in Salem; the whole town is decked out and in the spirit; … but it’s not scary). That being said, it gets me in the Halloween spirit as much as anything else so far. It just lacks scary. And when it comes to scary, I like old fashioned monster movies (classic vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and witches), not slasher films and not jump scares. It just leads me to wonder, have I missed a gem of a Halloween movie somewhere along the way? I’ll keep looking, but until I find it, Hubie Halloween, here I come.

Regardless, enjoy the football this weekend, there are some real games on the slate — UT/Bama; Penn State/Michigan; … Josh Allen vs. Patrick Mahomes! Boom!

The Commish